


"Not as strong as he thinks..."

by notjustmom



Series: TFP [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Post TFP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:38:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom





	1. Chapter 1

"Anthea. Let me talk to him." Elizabeth Smallwood stood at Mycroft's front door, attempting to get past his assistant. She grinned to herself, a bit young to be such a bulldog.

"Lady Smallwood. He isn't, may I speak frankly?"

"Do you ever speak otherwise."

"No."

Lady Smallwood nodded.

"Ever since the events that we don't discuss because they didn't happen, he hasn't slept more than a couple of hours at a time, but he still goes into work. He looks like he always does, but he -"

"Yes, Anthea?"

"He needs to talk to someone. No. I mean, he needs someone. Period. I've never known someone as completely alone as he is - and now, it's even worse."

"May I try?"

"Please?"

"Where is he?"

"The library, reading Oscar Wilde, for some reason."

 

Lady Smallwood looked at the screen. She wanted to know what his face looked like when he didn't know he was being watched. Oh, Myc. She did a number on you. How you were able to do this on your own for so long...

"Anthea, Mycroft is taking a leave of absence effective immediately."

"Yes, Lady Smallwood." Anthea departed the security room and released a deep sigh of relief.

 

"Anyone home?" Lady Smallwood murmured at the man who sat in a chair very different from the one he had occupied at Baker St., just a few days previously.

"Elizabeth? Did I miss a meeting? Or - oh. Damn. Sherlock -"

"No, DI Lestrade, but I believe your brother may have asked him to make sure you were -"

"Okay?" Mycroft snorted. "I believe that is what you want to know? I know by now you must have seen the outtakes of our little adventure into hell...those hours were nothing compared to my parents' reaction to the news that not only was their youngest child very much alive, but that the hell their beloved younger son had been through for the last few years was avoidable. Five minutes, Elizabeth...and people wonder why I hate Christmas. Five minutes, five years ago has taken years of my brother's life..."

"Have you spoken to him?"

"No."

"He worries about you, he did ask me to come to Baker St. this morning, I was already on my way to see you. He may have had a difficult few years recently, but I saw him with Rosie and John, Mycroft, and I've rarely seen someone as content as your brother is; he's still a right pain in the arse, that will never change, but, he acts like a man who knows he is loved. Do you, Myc?"

"Do I what? Sorry?"

"Do you know you are loved?"


	2. Chapter 2

Mycroft closed his book, stood up and walked to the window.

"As of this moment, Elizabeth, I am aware of how very little I know about anything."

"No."

"No, what?"

"I didn't look at the footage, Mycroft, I read the reports and that was enough."

Mycroft stood in silence for a long moment, she could not remember a time when he didn't respond, he always had an answer, even when she hadn't been aware there had been a question. She began to move towards him when he whispered, "he had a chance to kill me, but he would've sacrificed himself for me, he was seconds away from..."

"Myc."

"And I have spent most of my life ignorant of who he is. I never tried to get to know him. I was so afraid he was going to turn into Eurus...I never let myself get close enough to know who he really was."

"You were put in a difficult position, Mycroft."

"Sentiment, Elizabeth. I was trying to be kind. I told my parents she had died, and Sherlock never remembered. He simply misremembered a dog that we never had. Our father was allergic...I thought. I thought I was doing the right thing...but I never truly understood Sherlock, I was so much older...and he always wanted so much, so many questions...always wanted to play pirate until the day he stopped. He just gave up on me, Lizzie."

Elizabeth walked over to the drink cupboard and poured him a double, then walked until she stood behind him. "Here."

Mycroft didn't move, so she moved to stand in front of him until he blinked and took a sharp breath in. She placed a soft hand against his cheek and brushed her lips lightly over his. "You need to drink this, Mycroft, and then I am taking you upstairs to bed."

"What for?"

"To sleep, unless..."

"Unless, what?"

"Oh, Myc. Let's just take our time and see what happens."


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth wrapped a slight, but surprising strong arm around Mycroft's waist and gently persuaded him to move to his perfectly made bed. "Sit, Mycroft. Please allow me?"

Mycroft could only nod, all systems were slowly shutting down. No one had ever joined him in this room, and he spent so little time in it, unless he was ill, and he was never ill. He felt himself shiver as she slipped his feet from his shoes, then worked his socks off. He thought there was something he should do or say, but he no longer could summon the necessary thought processes...oh, her fingers are...she had removed his waistcoat and was slowly undoing his buttons. No one had ever wanted...he had teased Sherlock in Buckingham Palace, but he was even less aware of how these things were supposed to go than his brother seemed to be. Finally, he allowed himself to trust her, and let her care for him, he finally let go, as he felt his shirt being pulled gently from his body.

"Myc, is this all right?" Elizabeth asked him quietly as she laid a hesitant, but lovely finger on the first button of his trousers.

"Please, Lizzie?"

"Mycroft Holmes, I do believe that is the first time I've ever heard you say -"

"Please?" Mycroft didn't really know what it was he was begging her for, he just knew he needed her, in a way he had never thought possible. He just knew he needed her to touch him, to remind him he was indeed still among the living.


	4. Chapter 4

For all of the snarky comments she had ever heard Sherlock make about his brother's physique, she had always assumed he was nicely put together beneath all his bespoke pomposity, but what she uncovered took her breath away.

"Myc." She found her voice had become rough, yet tender and she was astonished to find tears trying to make an appearance. She took a deep breath and laid a trembling hand on his strong jawline.

His blown eyes found hers somehow and the questions and hope she found in them made her drop to her knees. "Myc. Have you ever -?" 

"Ever been touched? Never in love, Lizzie, not once." His broken, exhausted words came from some long ago buried place, and she knew she had shattered that famous Holmes facade.

Slowly, Liz. 

She stood up and toed off her shoes, then shrugged out of her suit jacket. She smiled to herself, knowing she was thought to be as nearly as cold as her colleague, and just as posh...if only they knew. He raised his eyes to meet hers and whispered, "May I, Lizzie?"

She blinked and was shocked to find the words, "Oh, God, yes," escape from her lips. He laughed; a quiet, pleased chuckle, not his usual sardonic snarl that was his common response to the stupidity that usually surrounded him, he was honestly pleasantly surprised, and she knew how rare that was.

He got to his feet slowly, and suddenly she wished she had kept her heels on, as he towered over her in her stockinged feet; she moved closer and reached out to place her hand on his chest. She almost pulled back as she could feel his heart racing beneath her fingers, but he laid one of his large, well-maintained hands over hers, and sighed, a slight smile graced his lips. "Yes, Lizzie, despite all reports to the contrary, I do have a heart."


	5. Chapter 5

She took a sharp breath in as his fingers undid her buttons; she tried to keep her eyes open, but soon they had closed, and she thought of everything she had ever believed him to be, then realised how very wrong she was as he leaned over to murmur in her ear.

"Your thought processes are quite distracting, Lady Smallwood." He unbuttoned her cuffs and pushed the silk blouse to the floor. She heard his breath change as he gently helped her out of her burgundy camisole.

"Sorry."

"No apologies necessary; you are exquisite, Lizzie."

She shook her head and wondered suddenly, who needed whom more, it had been such a long time since...her brain went offline as she felt him lift her up in his arms and carry her to bed; he laid her down gently on the softest sheets she had ever been on, then laid down next to her.

"What do you want, my dear?" His voice seemed to reach that place she thought was long buried, that soft, vulnerable place, and she knew she was lost.

"Myc, will you help me undress, then just hold me? Please?"

He nodded, and she closed her eyes again, as his capable hands disrobed her; she felt him rise from the bed and she opened her eyes to watch him step out of his slightly wrinkled trousers, before placing them neatly on the back of a chair.

"Boxers, Myc?" She snarked gently.

She shuddered as he got back into bed and wrapped around her. "100 percent silk...I have a man..."

"Of course you do," and she sighed as he unfastened her hair, letting it cascade over her shoulders. "Are you sure you've never -"

"I, uhm, hmmm...I've had dreams, Lizzie, ever since we met, of you, in my bed. A bit not good, that?"

She turned in his strong arms and kissed him soundly, with a passion that was matched by his own. "No, it's perfectly lovely, Myc. Now, please, what else did you dream about doing?"

He grinned mischievously and moved to switch off the light, but she shook her head. "No, I want to see your face, Mycroft Holmes. I want to see the moment when that beautiful mind of yours shuts down as I take you apart."

"Lizzie." His voice shook, but he laid down and offered no resistance. She saw all the love he was capable of in his eyes and suddenly she felt tears running down her face.

"I'm here, Myc, I'm here, love."


	6. Chapter 6

Mycroft nodded and bit his lip; to see him uncertain, and completely vulnerable nearly undid her. She blinked and straddled his lean, strong thighs, then stilled as she felt him shiver under her.

"Are you cold, Myc?"

He shook his head and whispered, "kiss me again, Lizzie? I feel a bit floaty."

Her breath caught as she bent over him and kissed an ancient scar over his left hip; she recalled his early days of 'leg work' and remembered those times when she wasn't sure he'd make it home. "You're safe, Myc," She left a trail of heated kisses over his skin, relishing the sounds she could pull from the man she knew so well, and yet, she considered, knew so little about. She looked into his eyes again and murmured, "so long, Myc, I have loved you for so long." She kissed away his tears, then found his lips once more, briefly. She sat back, resting against his knees. 

"Lizzie -"

She nodded, and laid a hand over the silken boxers; she smiled as she felt him jump, as his cock twitched beneath the damp material. "I'm going to touch you, Myc."

"Please, oh, Liz, please...ohhhh....hmmm." His voice shuddered to a halt, and she felt him tense around her, then suddenly melt into the sheets.

She had slipped his boxers down to his knees, and felt her own body react in a way she hadn't thought possible when she saw his long, heavy length in desperate need of her attention. She hovered over him, then kissed his weeping tip, before taking him in slowly. She felt his long fingers in her hair, then heard a deep shuddering sob escape from the man beneath her. 

"Liz -" it was warning enough as she pulled off in time to watch his face as he came. He did not disappoint. The usual cold, stark and dispassionate features she had known since she had recruited him years ago, had become softly blurred, or possibly it was her own tears that were freely flowing over him that only made it seem so. He gathered her into his arms, and kissed her as if he had finally awakened after spending his entire life half-asleep. "I want so much to make love to you, Lizzie, but I'm so bloody tired."

"I know, Myc, I know." She looked down at him and shook her head. So, that's what he looks like at post-coital rest, she thought to herself with a slight smirk; years younger and finally at peace after the long war with himself. She rose from the bed silently, retrieved a warm, damp flannel from the poshest loo she had ever laid eyes on, and returned to him. She washed him gently, noting the freckles, tiny blemishes and time softened scars that were scattered liberally over his well-built chest, tight abdomen, and narrow hips. She realised at that moment that she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life learning all of his stories as they made love. For now, it was enough to be the one person on the planet who was allowed to hold him as he slept. It was enough, she repeated to herself as she reached over to turn off the light.

"I love you, too, Liz," he whispered as he pulled her against his chest, and tangled his fingers in her hair. "Thank you."

"What for, love?"

"For saving me tonight. Will you stay, please?"

"I'll stay as long as you want, Myc."

"My, won't people talk..."

"They do little else. Sleep, love." 

He snorted contentedly, and tightened his arms around her as he faded back to sleep.

 

Have some time saved up? - LS

At least a decade. - A

Take a nice, long holiday, it will be some time before he will be cleared to return to his normal duties. - LS

Anthea grinned at the response and sent back:

Understood. - A


	7. Chapter 7

When she opened her eyes hours later, she found she was being quietly, yet intensely observed. He had propped himself up on an elbow and his other arm was draped lightly over her waist, his fingers had been stroking her hair, but he stopped when he found her blinking at him.

"Good morning, Liz."

"Myc."

"I hope I didn't wake you, I had always wanted to know what you looked like as you slept. I never thought I would have the opportunity to observe you in such close proximity."

Lady Smallwood sighed, only a Holmes could turn bed talk into something scientifically sterile."How long have you been awake?"

"Hmmm...hours now, I don't sleep much under normal circumstances, but I managed six hours last night, first time in years... I didn't realise how..." She grinned as she saw him blush for the first time.

"You're lovely," she whispered as she pulled him into her arms. She shivered as she felt evidence of his arousal against her hip. "Myc." She rolled her eyes at how needy she sounded to her own ears, but she heard him giggle against her chest in response, and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Please, Myc, you have no idea how much I want you..." her voice stopped as he was softly nuzzling her breasts, and his fingers had begun exploring those places that had been too long neglected. 

"Breathe, Lizzie," he murmured. "I do believe it is my turn to take you apart? I want to know everything about you, all your stories, your dreams, everything. But first, I want to be buried inside you, if that would be acceptable?"

"Uhmhmmm..." She found her access to the English language had been short-circuited, but he accepted that as a 'yes, please, my love," which is what she had intended to say. She jumped as she felt him move down her body until his lips were kissing her navel and his long, elegant fingers were gently stroking her inner thigh before moving to her most intimate places. 

"Shhh...I have you, Lizzie," She grasped his free hand tightly as she felt his fingers inside her. To her astonishment, tears began streaming down her face, and she understood he knew she needed to be saved at that moment, just as much as he had needed her the night before. "I love you, Lizzie. Will you open your eyes, please, I want to know, I need to see you -"

She opened her eyes, and he bent down to kiss her softly as he slowly entered her. "Myc, oh God....Myc..." Their eyes met and he brushed away her tears as he began to move inside her. Somehow they both managed to keep their eyes open as he came first, followed by the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced in her life.

"Good morning, love." He chuckled softly as he pulled out carefully, then wrapped her in his arms and pulled the covers over them. The last thing she heard as she tucked herself tightly against his chest was a hushed,"I'll be here when you wake up, love, I'm not going anywhere."


	8. Chapter 8

"You must be bored," she snarked lightly at him as the afternoon light dazzled her eyes.

He looked down at her with a mix of undiluted love and his usual impatience with humans in general. "Bored, no. You are endlessly fascinating, Lizzie, and I did manage a few more hours of sleep. I hope you don't find it insulting, but I find I sleep better at your side than I do on my own."

She smiled up at him. "Not offended in the least, Myc. I haven't slept so well in years, myself." She sighed as he kissed the inside of her wrist, then her palm, and finally her fingertips. "Hmmm..." She swore she could hear him smirk his pleasure at how he could make her turn to jelly, and she reached up and pulled him into a lengthy, deep heated kiss, that made him melt against her.

"Apologies, my dear." He murmured when he found his voice again. "Arrogance has no place here, I'm just simply enjoying making you happy. I never thought it was something that I'd find so interesting...sorry...I find I love how I can make you soften, Lizzie, I know it's a function of trust, and you have no idea how much that means to me right now." He buried his face in her shoulder and she was completely floored to feel him shake against her.

She held on to him as he wept; she wasn't sure he had ever cried in front of anyone before in his life, so she wrapped her arms tightly around him and simply held on to him, allowing him to feel everything he had bottled up over only God knew how many years. She lost track of time, but slowly the shaking stopped and he blew out a long breath, "I apologise, Lizzie. I am sorry you have to see this -"

"Myc. You do realise you are human, yes? No matter how hard you try, you will always be so."

He raised a tear-stained face and sniffed, but managed a tiny smile for her. "I will endeavour to keep that in mind. You must be starving, may I take you to a late lunch? I'm afraid my fridge is not equipped for company..."

"How about a shower first, love? Will you -"

Mycroft's eyes popped briefly in surprise, then he nodded mutely.

"join me?"

"Oh, yes, Lizzie, yes."


End file.
